Monday, June 3, 2013

Left By The Ship online worldwide

At last, Left By The ship can be seen online outside the USA and Italy. Click on the link to watch the film for $3.00 worldwide

to see the film online inside the USA:
or itunes:

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Soon- on May 24th- the TV version of LEFT BY THE SHIP will be on Tv in the US, at last! I am excited and hope a lot of good reactions will come out of it.
Here is the website

And also, the feature length version of the film can be seen on itunes from May 25th. Here is the link to that

Friday, July 29, 2011


The whole feature length version, plus extras...on

upcoming festivals for the film:
Official Selection, Artivist film Festival 2011 (august)
Official Selection, I've Seen Films Festival 2011 (september)
Official Selection, Kansas International Film Festival 2011 (september)
Official Selection, Cinema Italien Annency 2011 (OCtober)
Official Selection, San Diego Asian American Film Festival (October)

Sunday, May 29, 2011

an amazing group on Facebook, managed by Amerasians

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Trailer of LEFT BY THE SHIP documentary

Left By The Ship film opening soon

A documentary about Filipino Amerasians, done by two Italian filmmakers, Emma and Alberto, which is related to my blog will be opening soon, in Florence, Italy on November 18th. After that, the film will be seen on US TV (and in Festivals worldwide) in 2011.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Amerasians in Olongapo and all over the country and the planet. Post your comments and your stories, let's show the world how many of us there are!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Amerasians I've met-Margarita

Born 1995. Second generation Amerasian.

Perils Of Youth

Childhood is supposed to be a time of innocence, but for this little

Amerasian girl, whatever is left of it is slowly being peeled away

every day that passes by.

I met Marge only briefly - but I immediately knew the kind of life she

lead and the extraordinary danger that she faces every minute of her


There was a time when I spent more hours in the street than in the

small room that my mom rented for us. I was a few years younger than

her then, but then I was a boy - and so was shielded from some of the

dangers that waited for her around corners.

The tragedy in her situation is that, having lived in the streets for

so long, she no longer knows how to live what we would call ' an

ordinary life', spent around the house among family.

She has become like the wind, breezing through the streets of

Olongapo, as wild and free as the elements itself. Sleeping under the

roof of buildings, looking for food whatver way she could manage, and

doing what she wills - when she wants to - has become a way of life

for her.

But when I look at her, I see her encased in a prison - made possible

by long habit - encased between walls of air. It doesn't take a lot of

imagination to see what life has in store for her down the road, if

she can't do something to get her out of there - or find people who

will help her.

One of the most positive scenarios for her, sad to say, is to become

her like father - an Amerasian who prowls the city streets, with no

real place to call home, only managing by a hair's breadth to overcome

hunger, thirst, and the dangers that lurk nearby by dint of luck.

Amerasians I've met- Charlene

Born 1990

Trying to fit in and overcome

I met a young girl - a black Amerasian - who told me that some of the

most indelible memories she had were of those times when others jeered

her, teased her, and ridiculed her for the color of her skin.

She told me of painful memories when others called her names - and

these labels, hurled without any thought by callous people, lodged

deep in her heart. It was so bad that she would sometimes break down

in tears.

That is, until found it within herself to be strong. Some of us has a

way of finding aplace inside our own minds to shield ourselves from

the harshness of others. It would take her some time, she said, but as

she grew up she also developed the necessary toughness one needs to

survive experiences like hers.

Today, even as she still feels the stares, the sting of jokes at her

expense, or the laughter aimed at her - she has deliberately exerted

effort to fight back - but on her own terms.

She will not be the butt of jokes - not anymore. Instead, she will

face whatever they throw at her and shine - no matter what.

And she does this everyday - trying to be normal, when everything

about her screams of her inherent difference - if only in appearance -

from those around her, can still be a difficult challenge. But it is

one that she is only happy to face head on.

Amerasians I've met- J.R

Born 1987

 Quest for love and belonging

JR seemed in perpetual search for a place that he could call home and

people to count him as one of their own. At the time, he was out of a

job – but he supplemented his meager income with odd jobs, eking out

an income for his brother and himself.

When I met him, I thought to myself – here is a vital young man – sure

he has invisible crutches, but he seemed capable of standing on his

own two feet if he set his mind to it.

In this young man I saw a strong yearning– which alternately moved me

and frustrated me. Because I recognized it for what it was – somewhere

deep within him, like in all of us, there is a reservoir of feelings

that has almost gone dry from not being filled by others.

In a sense, he is thirsting for love – but, like the man who is lost

in the middle of the desert, he is going to die of it unless he finds

an oasis in a vast land of despair. Or wakes up from his delirium and

stops chasing mirages.

Charismatic and fiercely loyal, Jr was always in trouble – or headed

for one. He surrounded himself with friends – his gang – who were

there, I felt, to make up for what he lacked – a family of his own.

He still believes in a concept called " Father", something I learned a

long time ago to cast away – like the belief in Santa Claus, which did

not survive my childhood.

I learned early on that ' Father ' will always remain just a word to

me. And so I set it all aside – together with whatever desire I had

for one. For me, there was no use trying to crave what you could never

have.  That is, until I became one.

And realized what I lost a long time ago when you turned your back on

me and walked away. Forever.

In spending with Jr and being around someone so open about his

feelings, I came face to face with the reality of what I – and others

like us -  confront in their everyday lives. In my case, I had

squashed those feelings that grips him now, until they no longer

exerted any influence on me. But seeing it in him provoked me to think

about our situation.

 How can you pin your hopes on someone who abandoned you? How can you

love someone who loved himself more than you? And, finally, how can

you hold on to this desire to be with someone who may not show the

same inclination?

What Jr has  been through – and what is going on in his life now – at

least, in my mind, is still potentially alterable if he first accepts

the reality of his situation.

He is searching for something that others seem incapable of giving him

– unconditional love – from people who impose conditions on their love

for him. Once he gets past that, then he will be within sight of the

road to recovery and eventually find the will to stand on his own.

More than anything, he spends time with his gang. In each other, they

find solace, even as their own preoccupations veer toward the

dangerous or the absurd.

JR I  always on the brink of one disaster or another – and usually,

the source of the trouble often comes from the people who are supposed

to love and take care of him – his friends and adoptive family—this is

the tragic place where fate has placed him.

But beneath the tough exterior is something tender – a yearning to be

cared for and be loved, mixed in with a great capacity for giving of

himself  to others.  In the end, that could also be what saves him –

if he can lay his demons to rest.